dragonfaeriegodess04

My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married in Hawaii. We really want to do that because It's a bit cheaper to have a destination wedding there than it is to plan a big wedding where we live. We know for sure that we want our immediate families there, both sets of parents, siblings, and siblings families, plus 2 extra guests, for a total of about 21 people. His mother wants to have their entire extended family there, but we can't afford that even if we wanted it. Would it be rude to just have our immediate families at the wedding in Hawaii? We were kind of planning on having a reception/barbeque back home for everyone that we'd invite if we had the wedding here. Is that a good idea? Also, does anyone know some affordable places that we can get airline tickets/hotel/ etc.? We know we will be able to save up for the wedding itself, but after looking at a few travel websites last night, we're looking at about 10,000 for just the 2 of us for Hawaii.Some of our family members just filed for bankruptcy, so they wouldn't really be able to come unless we found a really affordable deal for them to go.

bubbles

I think inviting the immediate family is good and if his mom wants to include the extended family tell them that they need to pay. If you invited them to your hometown for the wedding you wouldn't be expected to pay for their airfare. You could just include you and both sets of parents and no one else then have the reception when you get home then there is no worrying about extended families and tell the parents it will be like a second honeymoon for each of them. I would think that you could plan a wedding for under 10 grand at home just cut corners then go on your honeymoon alone without all the relatives following you around.

MonieBalonie

You have to decide how many people want to be there and who. Because honestly this is your and your husbands day and no one elses. Sorry that these people couldn't pull their finances together but if you can have the same feeling getting married in hawaii that you can in your hometown where its easier to accomodate other people and not yourselves well then have it at home. But if you want it in Hawaii among the beach and sandy shores and keep it small then just do exactly that go to Hawaii- think of it this way....a nice ceremony on the beach or a slightly less nice wedding at the men's club hunting lodge. These are you photos that you have to hang up in your home and frame what do you want in the background?

Mutchkin

Maui is the best island I have been too. I loved it alot to the point my husband and I want to get remarried there in Feb. I have all sorts of information about Lahiana if you would like to. Just email me as it would be easier than on yahoo answers. Since a few people are going to attend mine, we are going to just pay through United (which we flew in December and liked it). Do not fly Hawaiian Airlines. A few people have already told me that there is always a lot of kids, family and noise. So they prefer United or American Airlines I think it is. When my husband and I went in December, it only costed us $1,300 total for the both of us together with round trip flight and hotel resort. So, it all depends on how you are trying to book it, where, how many days and when you are going. $10,000 is way too much. Where you looking girl???We going to book it through them and I already have my wedding coordinator picked out from December visiting her. (I can give you her information/web site if you want to check in with her). We as well planned a BBQ and all when come back home for those who can't go.

apbanpos

Wait ... your reasoning is, and I quote "because It's a bit cheaper to have a destination wedding there than it is to plan a big wedding where we live" and yet your complaint is the cost.So not plan a smaller wedding where you live, include the extended family, and honeymoon in Hawaii?If that doesn't work for you for some reason, then I think you are being very reasonable in limiting to immediate family and have a post-wedding reception for everyone!Good Luck!

SaSS

I'm getting married in Hawaii too! Congrats. Anyways, no its not rude if you don't invite certain people. Its your wedding so you invite whoever you want. Unless of course your mom is paying for it then its sort of an obligation. If people can't understand that you're not able to afford for them to be there then they have a problem. The reception idea back home is a great idea. We were thinking of doing that too. As far as tickets, I've just been looking at expedia.com and for airfare and hotel. For the both if us for 2 weeks was only about $2,500. But you should try talking to a travel agent about getting a discount for everyone that is attending. It will not only help you out, but you're guests would really appreciate it.

RowerGirl6678

I don't think it's rude at all to just invite immediate family. The extended family will understand! My bf and I will only have immediate family (8 total) at our destination wedding as well. Nobody will be offended because it's not like you're leaving just one or two people out - none of them are being invited. Maybe you should tell your bf's mom that you want a smaller, more intimate wedding with immediate family only. Then there's no argument regarding money. The idea of having a reception or bbq when you get home is a great idea - anyone not invited to the wedding will be able to come and see your photos, etc. Good luck!